I'm a woman who needs solitude. I like alone time. It gives me a chance to re-organize, re-energize, and re-invigorate myself. It gives me time to pursue something that interests me. It gives me time for me. I know it sounds selfish, but really, it's just a part of my makeup.
Spending all day, every day with people who talk can really get to a woman who needs her solitude. There are times when I just want to scream at everyone to be quiet, to let me be for a while. It's not that I don't love and appreciate my children, my husband. It's not that I don't enjoy my work. But sometimes, I need to turn off. And I just can't do that these days.
I find myself short-tempered, reaching time and again for that last thread of patience. I do a lot of breathing exercises. I count to ten with my eyes closed a lot. I continually remind myself that life is beautiful and that I'm a lucky woman. But still, I long for my bit of solitude.
Perhaps it's just being cooped up indoors all winter long. Maybe longing for warm spring days with walks around the block and trips to the park is making me batty. I don't know, but now that I have a few quiet moments, I think I'm going to go meditate.
1 comment:
It's probably not the winter. I need a bit of quiet time, too, else I don't have the wherewithal to make it through the day. :-) If I oversleep and the kids and I wake up at the same time, I'm toast. That's how I get my bit of solitude in: waking up early even when there's no where to go and no schedule to keep. During the week, I stay up after David leaves. On the weekends, he sleeps in and I get up at the same time anyway. Even with baby in the house keeping me up more at night. I really, really, really need that time.
Post a Comment