Pumped Out

I've been pumping milk for the last several months, trying to make sure there's a bottle handy when Miguel might need one. But lately, Maddie's been jealous of the pump and I can't do it in front of her. And then, she wakes up at night for a nursing right around the time I need to pump. We used up our last bottle of pumped milk on Thursday, and I'm just plain tired of trying to squeeze milk out of myself. I'm tired of jealously guarding the supply and thinking, "Do you really need to use a bottle today?" I'm tired of feeling like I can't leave Miguel alone with Maddie for too long because he won't be able to give her milk when she needs it.

So, we're going to supplement with formula. By this point, she's only nursing about three times during the day and several times at night, so it's not too big a deal. But having that option available will make me so much calmer when I leave the house.

Wow. I'm really a lot more stressed than I thought I was.