Every cloud has a silver lining, they say. I'm a personal believer in optimism. . . if you can't find the silver lining, you're just looking at the cloud from the wrong direction!
There are many important and worthy things we can do with our lives. Sometimes we have to sacrifice something that is good for something that is better. We can't do it all; we have to choose. You can choose what is merely good, with the understanding that others will suffer for that choice. Or, you can choose what is great. If you choose the great, you must embrace it whole-heartedly. Don't look back and don't waste time on regret. Life is a grand adventure and you never can tell where it's going to take you. Just keep your eyes on the road ahead.
I was never certified, but I've been a teacher for a long time. Maybe it's because I never held an official teaching position that I don't look at it as quite the same structured environment that you see it as.
Sometimes I look back at all the classes I've worked with and I think about how I could do it again. Then I look at my three children and realize that I've got students right there in front of me just waiting for something fun and interesting. No . . .It's not the same stuff I used to do. It's different material and different methods, but the teaching . . .that feeling is in tact and it's even better now. I'm not saying that being with your child all day is a substitute for your work. It's entirely different and I don't think they are interchangeable, but they can merge to some extent.
I know. And I know. And I'm fully happy with what I'm doing and the importance of it and wouldn't trade it for anything. I don't regret my choice. I don't wish I was doing something else. It was just a statement of fact. I miss what defined me for a large portion of my life, even though I am fully appreciative of what defines my life now.
I think that might be the trouble right there. What you do shouldn't define who you are. That's supposed to be a big problem with men upon retirement and is often why their health fails and they die sooner than their wives. They so identify with their careers that without them, they lose all sense of self. Tragic, really.
The fact is, you are something else besides "teacher" or "mother" or "wife". You are Beckie, and Beckie is something in her own right. You'll have to decide yourself what a "beckie" is, but I'm sure you can do it.
I'm a homeschooling mother of five kids with a husband who tends to disappear for long lengths of time and I *could* go absolutely crazy and hate my life. But I have a serious problem: failure to stagnate. I ALWAYS have something new going on, something I want to learn or read or plans for a short trip or a new plant to grow or a new recipe to try or a room to reorganize or redecorate. It doesn't matter. I would go insane without something to keep my brain mobilized. As long I've got a library card, an amazon account, and twenty bucks for new equipment, I can keep myself content with pretty much whatever rolls my way. But that's a "jennie". "Beckie's" might be different.
You're right, what you do shouldn't define who you are, but who you are should definitely define what you do. I don't define myself by my occupation. I chose my occupation because from very early on in my life I understood my personality as a teacher. It's not just what I do, it's who I am. Very few people are ever lucky enough to be able to find their calling so easily as I did.
I guess I should have elaborated in the original post, but what I was feeling was just a kind of wistful nostalgia for the daily cycle of teaching in a public school. The frustrating, challenging and enjoying task of coaxing teenagers to understand sometimes complex material; the daily contact with colleagues who care about the same educational issues as I do and bring new light to my understanding of learning and teaching; the personal exploration of topics on a deeper level than my students will likely learn at this point.
I know there are many ways to teach. I've taught in many of those informal settings, and am doing it now. I know there are decisions to be made, and I've told many of my colleagues who want me back that sometimes you have to make a decision between supporting other people's kids and supporting your own...your own have to win out.
I love my life. I wouldn't trade it. But I also know that the teacher in me is never going away because that is who I am. The setting might change, but the personality trait will not.
Is it the teaching or the learning? Is it the passing on of knowledge you have, the joy of watching someone's face light up when they understand, the satisfaction of knowing that what you know will live on in another's mind? Or is it the gaining of new knowledge, the puzzling of new ideas, the pleasure of discovering new understanding in yourself?
"Teacher" in and of itself is not a personality trait. It is merely the passing on of knowledge from one person to another. Everybody does that. We are all teachers and most of us are learners. So what is it that you really miss?
6 comments:
There are many important and worthy things we can do with our lives. Sometimes we have to sacrifice something that is good for something that is better. We can't do it all; we have to choose. You can choose what is merely good, with the understanding that others will suffer for that choice. Or, you can choose what is great. If you choose the great, you must embrace it whole-heartedly. Don't look back and don't waste time on regret. Life is a grand adventure and you never can tell where it's going to take you. Just keep your eyes on the road ahead.
I was never certified, but I've been a teacher for a long time. Maybe it's because I never held an official teaching position that I don't look at it as quite the same structured environment that you see it as.
Sometimes I look back at all the classes I've worked with and I think about how I could do it again. Then I look at my three children and realize that I've got students right there in front of me just waiting for something fun and interesting. No . . .It's not the same stuff I used to do. It's different material and different methods, but the teaching . . .that feeling is in tact and it's even better now. I'm not saying that being with your child all day is a substitute for your work. It's entirely different and I don't think they are interchangeable, but they can merge to some extent.
Hugs!
I know. And I know. And I'm fully happy with what I'm doing and the importance of it and wouldn't trade it for anything. I don't regret my choice. I don't wish I was doing something else. It was just a statement of fact. I miss what defined me for a large portion of my life, even though I am fully appreciative of what defines my life now.
I think that might be the trouble right there. What you do shouldn't define who you are. That's supposed to be a big problem with men upon retirement and is often why their health fails and they die sooner than their wives. They so identify with their careers that without them, they lose all sense of self. Tragic, really.
The fact is, you are something else besides "teacher" or "mother" or "wife". You are Beckie, and Beckie is something in her own right. You'll have to decide yourself what a "beckie" is, but I'm sure you can do it.
I'm a homeschooling mother of five kids with a husband who tends to disappear for long lengths of time and I *could* go absolutely crazy and hate my life. But I have a serious problem: failure to stagnate. I ALWAYS have something new going on, something I want to learn or read or plans for a short trip or a new plant to grow or a new recipe to try or a room to reorganize or redecorate. It doesn't matter. I would go insane without something to keep my brain mobilized. As long I've got a library card, an amazon account, and twenty bucks for new equipment, I can keep myself content with pretty much whatever rolls my way. But that's a "jennie". "Beckie's" might be different.
You're right, what you do shouldn't define who you are, but who you are should definitely define what you do. I don't define myself by my occupation. I chose my occupation because from very early on in my life I understood my personality as a teacher. It's not just what I do, it's who I am. Very few people are ever lucky enough to be able to find their calling so easily as I did.
I guess I should have elaborated in the original post, but what I was feeling was just a kind of wistful nostalgia for the daily cycle of teaching in a public school. The frustrating, challenging and enjoying task of coaxing teenagers to understand sometimes complex material; the daily contact with colleagues who care about the same educational issues as I do and bring new light to my understanding of learning and teaching; the personal exploration of topics on a deeper level than my students will likely learn at this point.
I know there are many ways to teach. I've taught in many of those informal settings, and am doing it now. I know there are decisions to be made, and I've told many of my colleagues who want me back that sometimes you have to make a decision between supporting other people's kids and supporting your own...your own have to win out.
I love my life. I wouldn't trade it. But I also know that the teacher in me is never going away because that is who I am. The setting might change, but the personality trait will not.
Is it the teaching or the learning? Is it the passing on of knowledge you have, the joy of watching someone's face light up when they understand, the satisfaction of knowing that what you know will live on in another's mind? Or is it the gaining of new knowledge, the puzzling of new ideas, the pleasure of discovering new understanding in yourself?
"Teacher" in and of itself is not a personality trait. It is merely the passing on of knowledge from one person to another. Everybody does that. We are all teachers and most of us are learners. So what is it that you really miss?
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