August 04, 2006
Loving Another Child
As I contemplate having more children, I find it hard to think that I could love another one as much as I love Angie. I know, I know. As soon as I have another child, I will find that I love it just as much, although maybe differently from the way and why I love Angie. Do you remember when you were expecting your second child? Were you worried about the same thing?
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Oh, yes. How could I possible have that much love for two people? And David said that the wonderful thing about a mother's heart is that it keeps growing bigger to accomodate all the love required of it. Delaney was born and I knew he was right; there was plenty of love for all. I don't think that the love is different, though the people you love are. A mother's love is probably the most powerful force on earth. The only thing, I think, which must be guarded against is favoritism. We were watching a movie one night in which the mother clearly had a favorite. The kids asked about that, so I asked them if they could tell me who my favorite child was. Thankfully, they couldn't.
I think I had a distinct advantage in that I started with two! I knew already that there was plenty of room to love more than one baby at once. However, I was so worried about time. How would I find time to love this new baby and still have time enough to spend with the two I already had? I don't think I ever thought that they would feel less loved, but I felt that I would feel like I was giving them less than they deserved.
There are lots of different fears that go through your mind. But in the end, it all works out just like it's supposed to!
I never worried about that. Maybe it's different for guys, but all I used to worry about was that my baby would be ok, as in healthy.
I think men tend to fall in love with their kids, whereas women have no conditions - they just love. Women love their kids just as much on first sight as after six months, or ten years.
That's not to say we don't love our kids immediately too - it's just that a mother's love is instinctive, fierce, and men can never have that same instant bond forged by having shared the same body for so long.
What does it for me is just looking down at him and thinking, I made you.
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