If you've ever tried to have a telephone relationship with me, you've realized that I'm not very good at making phone calls, or even returning missed calls. It's not that I don't love you or want to talk to you, it's that I hate the constraints imposed on normal conversation by the telephone.
Normal conversation ebbs and flows. There are particularly chatty moments where each of you tries to say a number of things at once, interrupting as thoughts are triggered by the other's words; and there are lulls, where you are content to be in each other's company without the need to search for a topic to fill the void.
Phone conversations do not have this luxury of ebb and flow. Awkward silences are often filled with inane exclamations -- "anyway. . ."; "ay ay ay. . ." -- anything to keep noise on the line. I have never liked that aspect of phone conversation. Additionally, it's often hard to speak simultaneously and understand what the other person is saying. Frequent "what's?" interrupt the flow, as you each try to get words in.
And then, there's the awkward "goodbye" that lengthy phone calls sometimes require. It's not that I wouldn't like to spend the day chatting, but there's too much to do and not enough time to do it.
I bring all of this up because I let a return phone call slide by for 5 days before actually picking up the phone this evening and returning the call. . .to my best friend! On top of that, I almost never call my sisters who are so far away and whose voices I miss. I even have to force myself to call my mom and nearby sister on a semi-regular basis, despite seeing them weekly.
I much prefer the intimacy of face to face conversation, and no amount of technology can currently make long distance chatting feel local. Sorry to those who miss out because of my telephobia!
2 comments:
It's only awkward because we don't know each other well enough. Mostly because we don't talk often enough. :-) Jessie and I, who've been telephoning for years, can keep a constant conversation going for several hours, usually between two and three. But it wasn't always like that. In the beginning it was awkward, as we tried to figure out where we stood with the other, and how much we could say. Now, after years of work, it's anything goes. Really. Anything. It just takes time, Beckie. And for people like us, umpteen miles apart, there isn't much option.
(But, in the same venue, I called Sandie about two weeks ago, and she wasn't home. I left a message, but never called back. Then again, neither did she.)
This actually never really bothered me. Ummmmm, i don't really remeber ever calling, but it seems that is OK by you. That way, we can avoid that akward pause of conversation you hate so much. wanna be pen pals? I don't have alot of time with work, but them again neither do you.
Coop
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