It's very easy, as an uninvolved, childless, third-party, to get excited about first babies. Even second babies generate quite a bit of energy, as the only child will be "only" no longer. But third, fourth, even fifth children elicit little more than an, "oh, that's nice, I'm happy for them," and a fleeting thought akin to another one? That was me, obviously, regarding my sisters' children. I knew they were coming, but somehow, their births didn't register more than a tiny blip on my radar. After all, if you've done it once or twice, what's a third, fourth or even fifth time?
Then, I had Angie. I can't imagine not being excited and overwhelmed every time you are expecting a new life. And I can't believe how oblivious and, well, selfish I was when my sisters were bringing new lives into the world. Sure, I sent a gift (I think) but I didn't really feel it.
Now, Jennie is expecting again. This time, I didn't dismiss it after a perfunctory "congratulations"; I didn't think, again?. Instead, I am so happy for her and her family that I can't believe I was ever so thoughtless before. There's this sense of guilt, this feeling that I terribly wronged her and her children before.
And all I can say is, I'm sorry. I will never take the bringing of new life into the world for granted again. I hope I am forgiven.
3 comments:
Dear Beckie,
My next door neighbor said today, when I told her, "Do you have room?" I smiled and said, "There's always room for one more."
I won't pretend to understand those with negative attitudes, though I have learned to accept it. And you can continue on with life guilt-free, knowing that I don't hold a grudge. I appreciate the apology more than you'll ever know.
Love,
Jennie
I think it's probably stereotyped by people expecting children themselves...you know, people who are expecting their third or fourth often tend to play it down, adopting a "seen-it-all-before" attitude when they're talking in public. This makes their friends think it's maybe not such a big deal - if they don't think it's a big deal, why should anyone else?
It doesn't mean they're not jittering with excitement about the new arrival - I think it's more that they don't want everyone else thinking all they ever do anymore is harp on about kids and babies and how great they are. Privately, of course, it's a different story. Expectant parents are always gonna be overcome with emotion, but until we're in the same position ourselves, I think it's very hard to empathise. Don't beat yourself up about it. ;-)
PS I just re-read what I wrote and I can't understand it myself, so good luck with that...
kav, thanks for visiting. and it's not too unreadable. . .
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