July 14, 2006
Arguing? Who's Arguing?
Miguel and I never argued much for the first 5 years of our relationship. He is determined not to fight (because past relationships were full of fights), which goes a long way towards keeping things cool. But recently, with our first real money difficulties, we have begun sniping at each other and, yes, arguing. We don't fight, though. After a heated, but not loud, disagreement, Miguel will get very quiet. He won't speak to me for hours, possibly even a full day. Sometimes, I don't know what in particular I said to upset him. Sometimes it's nothing I said, but something I didn't do. It doesn't matter though. I go from feeling guilty that I did something to upset him, to feeling upset that he's upset with me. Then, out of the blue, he'll tell me what was bothering him and why. Then we'll talk it out more calmly and everything will be fine. Sometimes, it's not even me that upset him to begin with. ::sigh::
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3 comments:
Davey's like this too. Once, he threw his (dirty) pt uniform onto the top shelf in the laundry room, atop my cookbooks. Exasperated, I threw them onto the floor, in his office, which was baby-gated, so I didn't walk through there the rest of the day. Boy was he mad when he got home! I'd have picked them up had I remembered they were there, but I certainly wasn't going to apologize now. After all, why were his dirty pt's up there in the first place? He kept saying I shouldn't have to apologize, even though that's exactly what he wanted. Even after I'd explained that I just hadn't walked through there to remember to pick them up and put them in the hamper. It was three days, with almost no words exchanged. I didn't ever apologize but it somehow got worked out. Happens about once a year, unless we're post deployment, then its almost weekly after the honeymoon wears off, till we settle into life together again. Fortunately, most of the time, we don't have any issues. Well, it's not that we don't have them, just that we are more loving about them.
BTW, I see you've been tweaking your blog.
When L and I argue, she is able to stay angry for hours afterwards. I almost always want to clear the air immediately. We have this twee fridge magnet that says "Don't go to bed angry - stay up and fight". I tend to think like that. I'd rather have a big blow-out and get everything out in the open; get whatever needs to be said, said. And then move on...
I hate when it all gets drawn-out. You can be sure one of you will die or something during one of those types of arguments. (Just kidding by the way - that's just my pessimism shining through again!)
BTW, thanks alot for your kind words on my blog today. ;-)
I noticed that Kav had tweaked his "comments" section and thought, "hey, I have a few minutes, I should do some fixing up!" Only a bit, though!
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