Sandie has three babies. Three babies to feed at lunch time; three babies to put to sleep at naptime; three babies to cuddle with at bedtime; three babies to console in the middle of the night; three babies playing around her feet, begging for her attention all day long. I often feel ridiculous when I get frustrated and complain about my one, single baby. After all, I only have one baby to chase away from the fireplace; one baby to convince to eat cereal; one baby to rock to sleep; one baby to console in the middle of the night. So, I try to keep it to myself, because, after all, my trials must be small in comparison.
Funny thing is, she said the other day that she feels silly complaining when the twins don't sleep through the night. In comparison with Angie's multiple night wakings, it seems paltry to her and a petty selfishness to complain.
How silly are we, thinking that our own trials must pale in comparison to someone else's? The truth is, if they make you feel overwhelmed or frustrated, your trials are just as significant as anyone elses. That's not to say that they are as bad as someone elses; after all, I won't argue that a single mother working two jobs and waking up multiple times with her baby isn't worse off than I. Although it certainly puts my own tribulations into perspective, it doesn't stop my baby from waking repeatedly at night and causing me to feel sleep deprived and frustrated.
So, complain away, dear sister, as I will too. By sharing, we alleviate the frustration and hopefully make ourselves more patient and tolerant the next time they wake in the middle of the night; or throw the spoon on the floor; or stand at the safety gate crying for us while we finish that load of laundry. . .
3 comments:
Actually, complaining, and having someone else legitimize your complaint, only feeds your discontent. See, you are all looking at this situation as the glass half empty, so to speak. (I must say at this point, considering your blog title, you are decidedly pesimistic!) You can't change the situation, only your reaction to it. So instead of complaining that (insert baby's name here) won't sleep, consider it quality time well spent!
Sure, sometimes you need to vent, but as a general rule, if you need to complain, you probably need an attitude check.
You can always choose how you act or react to a situation, but you can't often choose how you feel about a situation. Feelings are seldom something you can choose, although you can choose how you act on them. I cannot help feeling frustrated by frequent night wakings. Even though I conciously choose not to lose my patience, not to act in a way that will signal discontent to my baby, I still feel frustrated. Complaining is a way of communicating those feelings to others who may be able to offer support or comfort. Perhaps complaining is the wrong word to use.
Actually, I think we DO choose how we feel.
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